Temper Tantrum Study update

I have had several requests for information given to me by the temper tantrum study I enrolled Connor is awhile back. It is working well. We are down to a manageable number of tantrums a week, like normal 2 1/2 year old instead of daily meltdowns that are difficult to control. I was getting tired of the war wounds. If you have any questions about the material, please don't hesitate to let me know. We have learned a lot! Jessica Malmburg is running the study for her master's degree and has given me permission to post this information.

Three Simple Steps to Success

Step 1: Create a positive relationship with your child and use your attention to encourage good behaviour.

• Your attention is powerful: Try to "catch your child being good" many times throughout the day. As you point out what you like and ignore what you don't, your child will respond by doing what you like more often.
• The 5:1 rule: For every 1 time that you have to "get after" or be negative with your child, try to find 5 ways to be friendly or positive with the.
• Play their game: Your child loves to play with you, especially when you play their way. Find 10 minutes each day where you play on the floor with the,. doing what they want to do! To be sure it is their game, don't ask questions or give any commands. Instead, give praise, describe what they are doing while playing, and imitate them whenever you can. (Just as a side note, instead of asking if they are playing with blocks, say "you are playing with blocks". It is the same words, just a different inflection and keeps your "agenda" out of the game. Don't try to turn it into an education experience, or anything, let them run it. We have found this to be one of the most powerful aspects of this study.)

Step 2: Use effective commands when you want your child to do something.

• No questions: Don't ever give a command by asking a question. It implies a choice and then you can't fault the child if they choose to ignore it.
• Decide first: Give commands only when you have time and are willing to follow through. If you don't have time to discipline as you are running out the door and your child fails to get their shoes, you should just get them yourself.
• Make it simple: Use your child's words, make eye contact, move closer to them, and break down big jobs into smaller jobs. If it is a really big job, you can even help so long as your child keeps working with you.

Step 3: Use time as an effective consequence to help your child follow commands.

• Timeout is a proven method for shaping your child's behavior, and it will not harm your child. Plus, it is easy to use!
• Follow these steps:
• Give simple, effective command;
• Wait 5 seconds. If your child begins to obey, give praise and encouragement! If your child isn't obeying, repeat the command, using the same tone and inflections.
• Wait 5 more seconds. If your child obeys, provide praise. If your child does not obey, place them in timeout and say, "Because you didn't (desired behavior), you have to go to timeout. Sit on this chair and be quiet."
• Remember to 1)use an adult size chair in a corner. A straight, hard back, that you child doesn't fit into well works best; 2) have your child stay in timeout for 1 minute per year in age; and 3) don't allow your child to get out of timeout until they have spent their time and been quiet for the last 30 seconds of it.
• Make sure your child finises the original task immediately after timeout!
• Timeout is time away from everything: no talking, playing, watching TV, eating, etc.
• If your child gets out of the timeout chair before time it sup, use a back-up room for one minute and then bring them back to the chair to finish timeout.
• Don't ever use a timer; just keep your eye on a clock.

Hope this helps someone besides just me. Like I said, if you have questions, please ask!

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